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jack at sea.
Life on "» America! Coastinc
A Bit ot ° schooner.
the American coasting schoon
T ife on
rules laid down in the navy and m
The deep-water merchant service, and
the comparative absence of rules on
fhe show how much tne
coasting schooners, differ. In the
discipline on the vessels
Lv 3, there is a rule often against broken. swearing, In the
however, is
regular merchant service Jack is not al
jowed to swear when aft of the main¬
mast although lie may use profane Ian
„’ when forward of that spar. The
_ ua e liberty to
officers are usually at swear
the forward end cf the cabin to the
from captain tear from
iibboom. Tee may s
stem to stern, and a protest against this
proceeding is likely to come only from
His own conscience. Although the offi¬
cer may swear at his men when forward,
it is not considered good form for him to
take that liberty on the quarter deck,
especially when the captain is within
hearing.* When officially the captain at feels of liis it offi- his
dutv to swear one
cer s, it is understood tli&fc the latter lias
done something very wicked. The ofli
car may, however, if on good terms with
the captain, do a limited amount of
swearing in a social way when aft in
company with him.
Oa American coasting schooners there
are no swearing laws. The humblest
seaman is at liberty to go down into the
cabin anil swear to his heart’s content,
while the captain by way of equalizing
matters is expected to enter the fore
caa tie occasionally iu order to do a little
swearing there. In the navy when Jack
is addressed by his captain he touches
his hat in a reverential manner and says;
“Aye, aye, Sir.” In the deep-water
branch of the merchant service he re¬
plies to his captain in the same words
without touching his hat. But on the
American schooner Jack does not feel
himself called upon to abase himself be¬
fore his commander. If the latter calls
him he replies with: “I say, old man,
fid you ask me to lend you a baud at
anything. ”
Even on ordinary merchant vessels
there is a rule which prevents common
sailors from smoking ait of the forward
house, and restricts the officers from
using their pipes on the quarter deck,
except when keeping night watch. On
the American coaster, however, there
are no smoking laws. Any place that is
not considered too good for tho captain
to smoke in will answer well enough as
smoking quarters for the honest fore¬
mast hand who appreciates the doctrines
of equality.— New York Times.
The Woodcock’s Wooing.
Woodcock have certain peculiarities
which endear them to the sportsman as
well as make them an interesting study
to men of science. Their love-making
is essentially their own. Early in the
spring the male bird, seeking a mate,
repairs to some well-known covert where
the females most do congregate. It is
just at sunset. All day long he has been
industriously filling himself full of long,
luciou3 worms, and as nightfall comes
his bird thought turns to affairs more
sentimental. When he reaches the
parade ground he looks anxiously
around, and if no suspicious noise jars
on his sensitive ears he begins with a
low introductory overture. Then he
grows impatient and utters loud, gutter
albleatings, clucking just before eacL
one. Then he struts up and down the
mossy bank as if his performance gave
him intense satisfaction. Then he con
siders himself fairly introduced, and,
taking wing, rises in the air, flying up
in spiral circles, each growing smaller
aa he ascends. During this flight he
utters a low, sweet, cooing noise. After
sailing about in a series of aerial somer
sanlts, he swoops down to the spot of
his starting. For hours he fools about,
displaying his wing performances, until
at last the female can no longer resist
his antics, and throwing coquetry, as
Hamlet did the physic, to the dogs, she
approaches with ruffled feathers and
dishevelled plumage. The two meet
and caress each other with every evi¬
dence of affection and all the by-plays
ef love thrown in, and locking their
long bills in each other’s grasp, as if too
a PPy for earth, they rise straight in the
au-and fly far out of sight in the dark¬
ness.
Spaniards— not Chinamen.
Twenty odd Chinamen arrived at New
Jork from Havana en route for the
Fiowery Kingdom. When asked if they
had had any trouble with the Custom
House authorities on account of the
Jaw prohibiting the entrance of the
Chinese into this country, their leading
man said to the reporter: “Melican law
nogood. We get naturalized by the Span
ish government and then come to New
York, not as Chinamen but as Spanish
subjects. We pay $25 in Havana for
caturalizatiou paper and passport, and
that, under the treaty between the Uni
tod States and Spain, allows us to enter
the land without trouble. The French,
Peruvians, Mexicans and Chileans all do
ffie same thing. America is the only
country that will not allow Chinese to
become citizens.”
Sixteen Sacramento women opened a
co-operative store, and in three months
two of them owned the concern, and the
other fourteen were wondering where
the “co-op.” came in.
The Conyers Weekly.
VOL. VII.
WANTED—A LITTLE GIRL.
(There have they gone to—the little girls,
Willi natural manners ami natural curls?
Who love tlieir dollies and like their toys,
And talk of something besides the boys?
Little old women in plenty I find.
Mature in manners and old of mind,
Little old flirts who ta'k of their “beaux
And vie with each other in stylish clothes.
Little old belles, who, at nine and ten,
Are sick of pleasure and tired of men,
Weary of travel, of balls, of fun—
And find no new thing under the sun.
Once, in the beautiful long ago,
Some dear little children I used to know;
Girls who were merry as lambs at play,
And laughed and rollicked the livelong day.
They thought not at all of the “style” of their
clothes,
They never imagined that hoys were “beaux”—
“Other girls’ brothers" aud “mates” were
they;
Splendid fellows to help them play
Where have they gone to? If you see
One of them, anywhere, send her to me.
I would give a medal of purest gold
To one of those dear little girls of old.
With an innocent heart and an open smile.
Who knows not the meaning of '“flirt” or
“style.”
Ella Wheeler.
The Love-Letter
Miss Orinthia Brown set down her
tea-cup with an emphasis that made all
the china rattle. And little Mrs. Meeker
jumped nervously at the sound.
“I never heard anything so ridic¬
ulous in all my life,” said Miss Brown,
derisively. “Gilbert Mott in love with
Georgia Arlington ! Why, she’s a mere
doll, with big blue eyes, and pink
cheeks and yellow curls.”
“She’s very fascinating in her man¬
ners,” Mrs. Meeker ventured to remark.
“Oh, pshaw!” was Miss Orinthia’s
contemptuous comment. “And you
really think he’s in love with her ?”
“Yes, I must say that I think so.”
“Ah-h-h !” said Orinthia, meaningly.
“If I only dared to tell you all!”
“Dear me !” said Mrs. Meeker,
eagerly; “what do you mean ?”
“Nothing,” said Miss Brown, with a
nod of her head. “He walked home
from church last night with me, didn’t
he - ?”
“Yes, but-”
“He stayed on my side of the room
all the time we were decorating the fair
rooms with evergreens, didn’t he ?”
“Yes, but that was because-”
“And—but never mind, never mind !”
said Miss Orinthia, mysteriously. Time
will show ! Georgia Arlington, indeed
—why she’s nothing but a child—a
mere school-girl! I know better 1”
“Do tell me, Miss Orinthia,’’ pleaded
Mrs. Meeker. “Is he really engaged to
you?” her lips,
Miss Orinthia pursed up
dropped her eye-lids with a manner that
was wonderfully eloquent, but she would
commit herself no further !
“Let’s go up stairs and finish dressing
those china dolls for the grab-bag,” said
Miss Brown. “We shall get more money
out of the grab-bag than anything else,
and we must be sure and have it well
furnished !”
While the tea-drinking ceremonial
had been going on in the lower part of
the mansion of Mrs. Meeker, quite a
different chain of circumstances was
transpiring above stairs. Mr. Gilbert
Mott, who hail been inveigled into the
snares of the Ladies’ Fair, nolens volens,
had come early to help in the last prep¬
arations, and, walking up to the work
room had surprised a lovely blue-eyed
lassie in the occupation of filling sundry
cones of bright-hned paper with sugar
plums and French bon-bons.
Georgie Arlington shook back her
sunny curls and blushed like a June
rosebud, as she started up!
“Don’t go, Miss Arlington, please!”
pleaded Gilbert, himself not unembar¬
rassed. But Georgie muttered some
thing about a roll of ribbon which she
had forgotten, and fluttered past him
ere he could remonstrate further.
Gilbert looked after her, with a whim
sical expression of despair on his conn
tenance. '
“Now, why does she run away from
me like' that ?" he said to himself,
“Probably because she knows it tan
talizes me I But I’ll be even with her
... ,, , .__. .1 - _ !.__
J e “7 p e ^' on e "
J 'M T ., ..
And f ! heedless ,? of l 1 e neg P * 3 of
cedar-sprigs and pnncess-pme yetwait
ing to be wrought it o gar am s, e
down to the table and seizing pen and
ink, began a passionate billetdon c a. ter
the following fashion:
“Mx Own Precious Darling:
“Why are you so cold and cruel to
me? Why wiH v°u not Jet me ted vou
read°in my 7 eveKhestory of my heart’s
devotion . For I love you and have
loved you, and shall love you to the
world’s* end, and you must have seen it
tt..trw for &jk? B" l o^.Lr d
e 0 te
CONYERS, ROCKDALE CO., GA, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER T, 1884.
the church lair. Yet you will not give
me a word or a glance of encourage
ment!
“Is this right, my ruthless queen o
hearts ? But I am determined that you
shall tell ms when we meet again,
whether I may hope or not ! Until
then, sweet one, I am, half in despair,
half hopeful, unalterably,
“Yours, ever, and
“G. M.”
He had just scribbled off this un
studied effusion, when the sound of foot
steps on the stairs chased aw ay the
soft shadows of his love-dream, and he
had just time to slip the paper under a
leaf of Norway spruce twigs, when Mrs.
Meeker and Miss Orinthia Brown en
^® re< ^
“At work so soon ! cried . the latter,
archly. “Isn’t he industrious Mrs.
Meeker ?”
“Yes,” said Gilbert, _ hypocritically.
Tm at work already !”
Soho was—but not exactly for the
fair.
He watched nervously for an oppor¬
tunity to possess himself of the precious
sheet of paper, without observation, but
Miss Orinthia, doubtless prompted
thereto by some baleful evil spirit, hov¬
ered around the spruce boughs, like a
middle-aged turtle-dove, and effectually
warded off his designs. And presently
he was bonis down stairs in the popular
current, to open some boxes of donations,
which had just arrived by express.
“I can easily come back to get it wbeD
they are busy cackling over the new
things,” he thought.
But—fit illustration this of the futility
of all human plaus—when he came re¬
joicing back, some twenty minutes or so
later, the sheet was gone.
Gone, leaving no trace or vestige be¬
hind-gone, utterly and entirely !
“I believe there has been some super¬
human agency at work 1” thought our
bewildered hero, as he tumbled over the
chaotic coutents of the table in vain.
But Mr. Mott was wrong. The agency
had been exceedingly human—no other
in fact than mischievous little Billy Ar¬
lington, come up in search of stray
prizes for the famous Grab-bag which
had been temporarily delivered into his
hands. Cornucopias, pin-cushions, scent
bags, needle-books he pounced on alike,
and, perceiving a sheet of pink paper,
written on, he crumpled it into an old
envelope, directed “Miss Orinthia A,
Brown,” which lay beyond.
“What larks it will be,” thought the
incorrigible Billy. “Some of the girls’ll
think they’ve got a love-letter, and oh,
liow mad they’ll be, when they find it
ain’t nothing but one of Rintley’s re¬
ceipts or crochet patterns.”
And away rushed Master Billy, little
recking of the mischief he was unwit¬
tingly working to the cause of True
Love 1
The evening of the fair came—and the
pretty rooms, made still prettier by
paper roses and evergreen garlands.
were crowded with the brave, the fair,
and some that were neither one nor the
other ! Georgia Arlington, presiding at
one of the tables, looked lovely enough
to drive half a dozen young men dis
traded, instead of one. and Miss Orin¬
thia, in a rustling slate-colored silk dress,
went about like an autumn leaf in a high
wind! The grab-bag circulated from
hand to hand, carrying, as is the wont
of these institutions, a little current of
merriment and laughter in its wake !
Georgia drew a cigar case—Mr. Mott
became the proprietor of a rag doll and
Miss Orinthia Brown drew—a letter, ad
dressed to herself.
Gilbert Mott, leaning against the
doorway, saw Miss Brown hurryine: up
to Georgia and displaying her prize with
a malicious glee; while Georgia colored
and bit her lip, and looked ready to cry,
and feigned a merry little ripple of
laughter, all in one and the same breath,
“Why don't that horrid old maid keej
away from Georgia Arlington !” thought
our discontented hero. “She looks like
a dried up bunch of raisins beside f,
cluster of blooming Isabella grapes.
And watching bis opportunity he
slipped through the crowd and edged up
to the table where Georgia was seliing
pin cushions and tape trimmings at an
exorbitant price. softly,
“Georgia!” he whispered
‘Georgia!”
But she turned her head haughtily
away. Mr. Mott,” she
“Please to excuse me,
^
While Gilbert was staring at her in
a hand wa8 slipped through
^ arm and Migg Orinthia Brown drew
him gently away. demand
“Where are you going?” he
• rather unwillingly- 'door,
j outa ide the one minute,”
whispered Miss Orinthia falteringly.
j [3 no t in the tumult of should a common be
j _ owd ^hat such words
.
“What I
what you mean 5” cried the young man.
Orinthia drew into the hall, her head
drooped on his shoulder.
“Yes,” she faltered, “yes! How
could you for a moment donbt it 1
Brown, , but , T I think .. . . wits .. for- .
your are
sakmg you,” said Gilbert Mott, striving
to extricate himself from the damsel’s
grasp.
“Gilbert, would you, then, be false tc
mc 9 ” sobbed Orinthia, with the dawn
j^g S y m ptoms of hysterics,
<q j false to you ?” echoed our hero,
1 'jyiiss Brown, will you be so good as to
me 0 nce, aud plainly, what you
aro speaking about ?»
Orinthia Brown’s sallow cheeks red
dened, her eyes sparkled ominously, as
sb e drew from her pocket the precious
missive.
“i) 0 y 0U mean to say, sir, that you 'de
didn’t write this letter?” she
man cj e(b
Gilbert took the letter and scrutinized
it closely.
“Yes, of course, I wrote the letter.”
“Then, dearest-”
* Stop, though,” he interrupted, fran¬
tically. “It wasn’t to you.”
“Not to me!”
"No! Do you suppose I want to
marry you !”
Miss Orinthia uttered a shrill shriek
—but the next moment she was alone.
Gilbert Moti had vanished.
For the matter was growing serious
now If Georgia were to be won, she
must be won at ouce, before Fate con¬
spired with any other old ipaid to de¬
prive him of her coveted love.
“Georgia,” he said, planting himself
resolutely beside her. “I have got
something I want to say to you.”
“You bad a great deal better say it to
your beloved Miss Orinthia,” said
Georgia, tossing her flaxen curls.
“Bnt she isn’t my beloved Miss Oriu
thia,” cried Gilbert.
“I suppose you will be denying your
own handwriting next,” said Georgia,
indignantly. “But it’s of no use ; I saw
the letter myself.”
“But, Georgia, the letter was written
to you.”
“Then,” said Georgia, brightening up
a little, “how did she get it?”
“That’s just what I can’t comprehend
myself,” said Gilbert; “but one thing
I’m very certain of—I love you, and you
alone, and I won’t leave you till you tell
me whether the love is returned. ”
And he did not; neither was it neces¬
sary for him to stay there very long.
But to this day, nobody, save Billy,
the irrepressible, knows ]ust how
Georgia’s letter came into Miss Orin¬
thia Brown’s hands.
The Story of the Benders.
The St. Louis Republican recently
published a story on the alleged author¬
ity of one Capt. Rivers, or Reives, of
Appleton, Mo., to the effect that the no¬
torious Bender family were all killed by
the York party, who followed them out
of Montgomery County, Kan., when
they disappeared from there, and that he
himself went along and saw the hilling
done. Gov. Glick, of Kansas, thereupon
wrote to Dr. A. M. York, who is now in
Des Moines, Iowa, and inquired as to
the truth of the story, aud received a re¬
ply that the article was an entire fabri¬
cation, in fact without even the sem¬
blance of a foundation. Dr. York some¬
what significantly adds: “My brother,
J. H. York, of Fort Scot!, was visiting
me here when the article appeared, and
we determined to take prompt measures
[ Q trace the authorship and responsibii
ity f and we will make inquiries for the
purpose of ascertaining whether such a
person as Capt. Rivers lives at Appleton,
Mo., and if so we will call upon him and
request proof of his statements. We
will give $ 2,000 for proof that the
Benders were killed, and with such proof
we believe we can trace their connec
tion with others. In my opinion state
meets such as the one in hand have
been put in circulation from time to
time to prevent a continuance of the
the search, and it is quite remarkable
that these statements that the Benders
were killed arc revived simultaneously
with some positive movement tending to
their discovery. Whether there is con
nection between the two I cannot say,
but it is a most remarkable coincidence.
Otherwise my brother will place the
matter in the hands of our attorney, J.
p McC he var ty, of Fort Scott, and he
will no doubt have occasion to communi
cate wth vou .»
----
Broke Loose.— During a recent hail
storm in a village of Lombardy a tiger
broke oat of a menagerie cage and took
refuge in the church. An army of
peasants gathered, the church door was
barricaded, and then the frightened
animal, crouching at the altar, was rid
t ’ed with balls from an opening in the
_
. 00 ,, ajeing tte floor .Hh m btari.
NO. 3d.
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
The President Tallis About Ambition With
n Living Example Before Him.
[From the Detroit Free Frees.]
“IfdeHon. Lycurgus Standoff am in
de hall to-night he will please step dis
way,” observed Brother Gardner ns the
meeting opened with the thermometer
marking 103 degress above zero.
The brother referred to laid down tho
half of a six-cent muskmelon and ad¬
vanced to the platform with a look of
mingled surprise and auxiety on his
face.
“Brudder Staudoff,” said the Presi¬
dent in a voice full of kindness, “you
am an ambishus man. You hanker to be
great an’ famous. You want to climb
up. You spend hours preparin’ speeches
an’ addresses an’ odder hours in delib
erin’ ’em befo’ emaginary audiences.
You sot on de fence an’ read of Cassius.
You lay on the grass and road of Brutus.
While awake you hanker to be a mem¬
ber of de Lsgislacliur, an’ in your sleep
you dream of risin’ to a pint of order in
do nex’ Congress. Lycurgus !”
“Yes, sail!”
“I goes in to incourage ambishun in
Ihe cull’d race, but I mus’ at the same
time warn you not to lose your commou
sense. Brutus was a smart man, but he
wasn’t two months behind on de rent of
his cabin. Bisero could hold an nudi
ence spell-bouud, but his wife didn’t hev
to go bar’ fut fur do want of a dollar
pa’r of shoes. Marc Antony could fill a
hall on twenty minits’ notice, but his
chil’en didn’t look like seben scare-crows
posted on de fence. Socrates saw men
bow to his wisdom, but he had a wood
pile at de back door an’ ’taters in do cel
lar fur winter. Lycurgus 1”
“Yes, sail!”
“Doan’ let go of de rabbit in your
hand in order to foller up a ’possum
track three days' old. Instead of tryin’
to be great, seek to be good. Instead of
aching fur do plaudits of a multitude, it
am fur better to hev de confidence of one
single man whose indorsement on de
back of a note will git de cash at a bank.
Men who bow befo’ a great man talk be¬
llin’his back. Fame may tickle your
vanity, but fame makes enemies an’
bring '3 abuse. Lycurgus !”
“Yes, sail 1”
“Ambishun am a creek rushin’ frew a
hilly kentry. Mingled wid common
sense it turns de wheels of mills an’
factories, an’ becomes a benefit to thou¬
sands. Left to its own wild will it dam¬
ages an’ devastates, an’ becomes a
curse. You may nebber see your name
on de bills as a candydate fur de Legis
lachur; but you kin pay de butcher an’
grocer. You may nebber git to Wash
ington, hut you kin pay your rent so
promptly dat de landlord will want to
put French plate glass in do winders.
De world may nebber thrill ober your
perorashuns, but you kin feel a deep
satisfaekshun in payin’ cash down fur
six bushels of turnips, Lycurgus !”
“Yes, sah 1”
“Go back an’ sot down an’ ponder
ober these things. Doan’ lose your am¬
bishun, but barnesa it up in sioh a way
dat it can’t run away wid de vehicle nn’
bust things. We will now listen to de
Seckretary. ”
Land Sales for a Year
From a statement prepared at the
Land Office, in Washington, D. C.,
showing the disposal of the public lands
for the fiscal year ended June 30, 1834,
it appears that the cash sales amounted
to 0,317,847 acres from which were re¬
alized $10,302,582. The original home¬
stead entries included 7,831,509 acres,
the final homestead entries 2.945,574
acres, and the timber culture entries
4,084,403 acres. The miscellaneous dis¬
posals aggregated 8,600,219 acres, in¬
cluding 8,343,154 acres of railroad lands,
for which the sum of $1,530,410 was re¬
ceived. The aggregate number of acres
of land disposed of under all heads, in¬
cluding the final homestead entries, was
28,834,041. and the aggregate receipts
were $11,838,993. This is an increase
over the disposals of last year of 8,101,-
137 acres, and of $1,075,521. Indian
lands to the amount of 697,128 acres,
which were sold for $938,137, are not in
luded in the foregoing totals.
London Societv. -Most schoolboys
know that when it is day here it is night
in Chita, but many children of a larger
growth, calling themselves “society”
people too, are not aware that the fash
ionable season iu London is precisely
the reverse of that in New York—that
their society season is in the summer,
when Parliament generally is sitting
and opera and theatres are in full blast.
From September to May
the West Eiiu generally in London are
j practically deserted, and the Da es
j and Deans and Dandy Earls’ are down
I * tt.eosntrj.
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM THAT
CAUSES US TO SMILE.
“Frff I’rrss.” Unrrcncy-A Little Flattery
—(.'nine Into Court. John Henry—An Ada
verticfnjr Aeent—A Hood Candidate) file.
DETROIT “FREE PREBS” CURHENOX.
A California farmer has had to pay a
fine of $10 for knocking his hired man
down with a bunch of grapes weighing
ten pounds. It was cheaper than hunt¬
ing around for a rock.
One issue of a New York daily con¬
tains sixty-four advertisements of
“pianos for sale cheap because the
family is going out of town. ” None of
’em wants any music where they are
going.
Not one post office official in fifty can
rob the mails and escape detection and
punishment, but every week or two
somebody decides to take the chances.
The run - off -with-father’s -coachman
mania seems to have had its day, and
after a few beatings and two or three
weeks’ diet of cold potatoes the various
brides will appear at the front door with
tears in their eyes and a case of divorce
in their pockets.
A Chicago druggist offers $25,000 re¬
ward for the sight of a traveling man
who doesn’t feel sure that his liver is out
of order and needs about six different
remedies.
For fourteen long yeors tho people of
Dubuque allowed Martin Jackson to
run the town because it was believed he
was a dangerous man to provoke. The
other day a woman half killed him in a
r>w, and now every Dubuqner stops to
give Martin a kick.
COME INTO COURT.
A lawyer living on Walnut Hills has a
son about seven years old and a daugh¬
ter about three times that age. The
boy has been around the court room a
good deal, aud the young lady has a
solid beau. The other evening the gen¬
tleman passed the house and the young
lady wanted to see him.
‘‘Johnny,” said she to the kid, "won’t
you please call Mr. Mann ?”
Johnny knew the state of affairs, and
with a ready ‘‘of course,” he flew to the
front door and called out in the usual
loud monotone o: a crier :
“John Henry Mann, John Henry
Mann, John Henry Mann, come into
ccurt. ”
Mr. Mann came in, and Johnny with¬
drew to a safe place.— Merchant Trav¬
eler
A GOOD CANDIDATE,
“Pali,” said young Johnnie Jarphly,
“why don’t you run for President ?*’
“Why, my son?” suspiciously asked
Mr. Jarphly.
“You’d make a good candidate.”
“Do you think so?” replied the elder
Jarphly, quite flattered.
“Yee, for mah says no one could say
anything too bad about you.”— PiUs
burrj Chronicle.
A USEFUL BRANCH.
“What branches do you find most
aseful to your pupils?” asked a visitor
of a professor at the University of Texas.
“Any branch is good, but I find Jthat
the branches from a peach tree are the
most useful of all. Texas Siftings.
A GOOD AGENT.
A newspaper proprietor advertised for
an advertisement canvasser, and his test
of their fitness, as they applied, was to
tell them to get out of the office that
instant or lie would kick them out.
Several timid young men turned tail
and left him with great disgust, but
one, more brazen-faced than tho rest,
•nothing daunted by the threat, coolly
sat down and said ho would not go until
his testimonials had been read. So he
locked the door, put the key in hia
pocket, and handed in his papers. “Ah!”
said the advertiser, “you’ll do, I can
see. I don’t want testimonials; yonr |
style is enough for me. No one will
ever succeed as an advertisement can ■
vasser who will be influenced by a threat
to be kicked out of any office.”
A LITTLE FLATTERY.
“Won’t yon please discharge my hus¬
band for me?" said the pretty wife of
James Dunn at the Tombs yesterday.
“Do you feel lonesome?” asked Jus¬
tice Duffy.
“Oh, well, you know how it is your¬
self,” she replied.
“I don’t; I am not a married man,”
said the Justice.
“Oh, a bachelor; what a pity ! You
would make such a fine husband. 1—”
“Clerk, give this woman a discharge
for her husband. Tell him not to get
drunk again.”— N. Y. World.
NEXT TO THE LATEST.
“This is the latest agony in bonnets,”
she remarked' to her husband as she
ried its effects in the mirror.
“Is it paid for ?” he asked.
“No; I had it charged.”
“Well, it isn't the latest agony in
‘•onnets, then,” he replied with a groan.
The Facts. — Dr. Lancaster, of
Gainesville, in a letter to the Medical
Record, says that many consumptives
die in Florida, and their physicians
should be censured for sending them
away fi-oin 'home when they are be
yond all hope of recovery. He believes,
however, that many severe eases are
cured, and suggests that the American
Medical Association appoint a commis¬
sion of competent scientific men to go
to Florida and examine systematically
into the facts.