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“ In May, Mrs. Koseleaf told me. She
-is heart-broken at the idea of losing
Doris, but it is the only way she can be
rid of Trotty—and this thought consoles
tier .’’—Frank Leslie's.
The Punctilious Mexican
Poor, half-starved, dirty, m serahiy
tlad in' rags that scarcely cover their
nakedness, the poor Mexicans still prac¬
tice an unfailing courtesy that I have too
often found lucking among our parvenu
aristocrats, sitting aloft on their money
bags. wherever This in is practically demonstrated
Mexico Americans do con¬
gregate. A little group will be gathered
on will, a and-an corner, public carriers, what you
American come3 rushing
past. A block away can bo read in his
eye the intention to lush throngh that
group of low-born mortals. Does he
scatter them in catapult fashion really?
Ah, uoi A heavy leathern cushion, on
which the carrier supports his burden,
strikes him somehow carelessly, but
with almost force enough to knock him
■breathless. The agnador slops some
water out of a brimming chococol over
his worship’s natty garments, and his
shoulder will be black and blue for a
with fortnight from sturdy the force of his collision
the rnozo. By stepping
into the gutter he manages
raging. to pass them, breathless and
They look at. each other com¬
placently, grin silently, and fall into
place this again as another did gringo approaches.
But one not come to Mexico
the day before yesterday. He slackens
his pace slightly as he comes near them,
perhaps his hand touches in his hat, perhaps and waves
token of greeting, says
cheerily: leave.” The “Con su licencia"—“By your
ranks fall open, a hat or
two is snatched off, with “Pase u-ted,
seno atno”—“Pa«, my master”—and
perhaps rub a sandaled splotch foot mud is thrust the out to
away a of on pave
ment that might soil the shoes of this
courteous foreigner.
When such traits exist among the
lower classes, it can readily be seen what
superlative polish of manner must pre¬
vail among the higher. It cost me no
little mental self-fiageintion to learn to
say “Praf cover yourself" to a gentle¬
man who should pause to greet me, and
I remember more than one pang I have
felt at having left this to be said by my
-escort to men whoso silver locks streamed
in a bleak wind or 'were moistened by n
soft rain, yet who would not replace the
hat without instigation.— San Francisco
Chronicle. w
A Telephone Millionaire.
Alexander Graham Bell is a very rich
man, and so are all his relatives. While
he cannot be deprived of his present
riches, yet his future income is very
much in doubt. Should the decision of
the United States Supreme Court be ad¬
verse to Bell the people*of the country
will get cheaper telephone service, and
the coffers' of n great monopoly will be
no longer stuffed full to overflowing.
Bell is a handsome Canadian, and en¬
joys tho luxury of the handsomest house
in Washington, for which he with paid
$110,000. He is a well-built man,
Black hair and beard, just beginning to
turn gray, and has a young-looking
face, v
The interior of his home is superb,
Water colors, rare paintings and soft
■etchings surround of the you on is every side. of
The furniture house a marvel
taste and richness. ' Tho library, which
adjoins the main entrance, is a model of
its kind, and contains thousands of rare
literary productions. The binding of
the books is of the highest perfection,
-and you almost fear to touch the covers.
Many of the chairs are of carved candle
wood. Mrs. Boll is a deaf mute, al¬
though she. ran converse with her hus
band readily, who understands every
movement of her lips.
She was rich before she married the
telephone increased her magnate, income but from he his has princely largely
gifts to her of largo blocks of telephone
■stock. Just across the street from Mr.
Bell’s house is a iittle cottage where he
teaches deaf children, lie has given
great attention to this subject, and has
made many wonderful discoveries in tho
signal language, which he is endeavor¬
ing to supplant by a labial sound lan¬
guage of his own.— St. Louis Repvb
i.ian.
_
A singular accident happened to a
horse that was standing near the planing
mill at Beaver Falls, Penn. The circu¬
lar saw struck a knot in a board, causing
the knot and to fly the like side a bullet horse, through where the
wall into of the
jt emboded itself in the flesh and caused
g painful wound.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES PROM
VARIOUS SOURCEk
The Careful Burglar—He Owsefl Up
—Stealing Black Diamonds—
A Little Close—A Con¬
flagration, Etc.
When the winter nights close in,
And the pleasant fogs begin;
When the moon’s intr usive light
Is obscured from mortal sight;
He who burgles by sound rales
Then should furbish up his tools.
As the surgeon whets his knife,
For preserving human life;
As the sportsman oils his gun.
With the season’s earliest sun;
So the burglar, cool and keen,
Sees his instruments ore clean.
Wipe Harder the jemmy, oft ’tis said
than a policeman’s head
See that no corroding grit
Harms the wily centre-bit;
That no rust appears upon
Dainty keys called skeleton.
Although We hidden by the mist,
shall need the shoes of list;
And our modesty may ask
Coy Bull’s concealment from tire mask;
eye lanterns we, of course,
Carry, like our friends the “ Force.”
There's the small revolver, still
Careful burglars do not kill;
Conscientious men like me
Operate Some in secrecy.
directors do the same,
And we blush to find it fame.
—London Punch.
He Owned Up.
“Times have changed. The public
taste has changed,” exclaimed the pro¬
fessor who wa; delivering the literary lec¬
ture, as he wanned up with his subject
and brought his hand down emphatically
on the desk. “Where is the man that
reads Anthony Trollope to-day?”
“Here he is,” said a hollow-eyed, de¬
jected looking man ip the rear of the
hall, as he rose up, “I a:n reading one
of his books, but I’m doing it on a bet,
and I can lick (be ornery son of a gun
that has given me away !”—Chicago Tri
lune.
Stealing Black Diamonds.
Chief Train Robber—“Now, yon fel¬
lows, when the train stops you will board
the coaches and cover the passengers
with your guns.”
“Yes, and you’ll go through them and
get their stuff?”
“Not by a hanged sight. You keep
the passengers from interfering and I’ll
overpower the firemen and fill our sacks
with coal .”—Nebra k% State Journal.
A Little Close.
Mrs. A.—“What sort ot people are our
next door neighbors ?”
Mrs. B. — “They are about as 6tingy as
people it get to be.”
“Is
“They are so stingy they starve them¬
selves. Well, I’ll give yon some idea
how they live. I was there the other
day, aud I saw a mouse reduced to a
skeleton come out. of their pantry with
tears in his eyes.”— Siftings.
It Was a Conflagration.
“Papa, what big is a conflagration?”
“It is a lire, my sou.”
“And what do they call a little fire?”
“There is no special name for a little
fire. Oh, they sometimes call it an in
cipient fire, and—let’s see—well, it is
sometimes called an inconsiderable fire.
Why?”
“Well, I see your coat-tail is on fire,
and I was wondering whether it was a
conflagration few minutes or an incipient fire.”
In a the young man had
reaasoa to think it wa3 a conflagration.—
Chisago News.
He Was Competent.
“Docs anybody go bail for this man?”
asked the clerk of the court.
“I will, :.’r,” replied a rather insignifi¬
cant looking man who was standing near
the tail.
“Y'ou!” said the district attorney con¬
temptuously, glancing at the stranger’s
clothing. “You! Are you aware, sir,
that the prisoner is held in $15,000 for
trial?”
“I am, sir,” said the stranger. “I
will furnish security.”
“Oh, yon will, will you?” said the dis¬
trict attorney, snecringly. “Y r our name
and address, may I ask?”
“John Jones, coal dealer,” said the
other, quietly, and the district attorney
blushed and said:
‘ ‘Beg your pardon 1 ”—Somerville Jour
nal.
No Use Then.
“If I slip down on an icy sidewalk
and sustain severe damages can I get
redress ?” he asked of a lawyer.
“ You can.”
"Who shall I sue V'
“The qwner of the premises. You
can hold him responsible.”
“I was laid up seven weeks, and I
think I o -ght to have $100.”
“ I think we can get double that. Do
you know the owner of the property V'
“I can find out very easily. It’s No.
480 Blank avenue.”
“What 1 Why, that’s my residence!
Better drop your ease at once, sir. I for¬
got to say that the law is so defective
that we can’t get a verdict once in a
hundred times !”—Detroit Free Press.
Had Been Slightly Negligent.
A physician who had attended a man
during several weeks of illness called
one day and presented his bill.
“I can’t pay this,” said the ex-pa¬
tient.
“Why? It's doubt correct.” haven’t
“ I don’t that, but I
any money. Had to pay a life insurance .
assessment. this morning, and it took
every cent I had ?”
“ What, is your life insured ?”
-
“les, _ and at one time . when , I did not
expect to live but a few hours longer paid I
told my wife to see that you were
just as soon as the company paid the
amount of the insurance.”
“My dear man,” the doctor sugges
lively replied, “I wish I had known
that. I think I would have gotten my
money. ” —A rkansns Traveler.
Unappreciated Politeness.
A handsomely-dressed young woman
entered a crowded street car. A long
whiskered old fellow, wearing a dingy
slouch hat and a suit of homespun
clothes, got up and said:
“Miss, take my seat. I don’t look as
well as these here gentlemen”—nodding
at several men—“but I’ve diskivered
that The I’ve got more politeness.” down without
young woman sat
thanking “Miss,” the said old the fellow. old fellow, with
a
smile, “I b’leve I left my pocketbook
thar on that seat. Will you please get
up;” The The old
young woman got up.
fellow sat down, and, stroking his
whiskers, remarked:
“B’leve I’ll jest keep on settin’ here,
Miss. I’ve got a lefitle more politeness
than these here gentlemen, but I have
diskivered that I ain’t got nigh so much
sense .”—Arhansis Traveler.
The Statue Was labeled Wrong.
One of Berlin’s most celebrated sculp¬
tors is Albert Wolff, and a lion executed
by him is in the Thiergarten of that
A young American who is making the
tour to attain the final polish
which his country does not afford,
thus writes to his admiring friends at
home:
“I am much pleased with the Gennan
capital, but I don’t think the Berliners
very intelligent,. The other day I took
s wnik in a pretty park called the Thier
garten, and saw a very handsome work
of would art representing it lion, a lion. but they Anybody
know was a seem
here to be quite ignorant of natural his
tory,for this particular work was marked:
‘A Wolff.’ Think of it! Such a thing
could never have happened at home,
And look at the spelling!”
He Was Surprised.
Brown—“I never was more surprised
u mv life than I was last night.”
Green—“Indeed! What was the
cause?”
B.—“As I was passing along the street
two ladies came to the door of a hou»e
one evidently the hostess, ns she had
only a little shawl on her shoulder and
the other well wrapped reached up, the apparently bottom
her guest. As they
of the steps the visitor said:
‘Well, Mary, I’ve had a pleasant time.
Good night.’
‘Good night,’ the hostess replied and
they G.—“They parted.” parted that way?”
”
B.—“They did.”
G.—“With one good night?” is
B.—“With one good night! That
what surprised dear me fellow, ” they
G.—“My were men
in women’s clothes. No two women
could have parted in that manner. They
would have taken two hours to take
leave of each other .”—Boston Cur Ur.
It Was Plumb.
Griswold Yesterday forenoon a man halted oil
street and looked pretty fixedly
at the tower of the City Hall. In ten
seconds a second man stopped and ele¬
vated his gaze. In five minutes thirty
men anything were looking. No one had when said
or discovered anything,
a fresh addition advanced to the first
man and inquired:
“What is it, mister?”
“The City Hall tower,” was the an
swer.
“What’s the matter with it?”
“Why, it strikes me that it is out of
plumb. “Why, Don’t you think so?”
nol How could it he out of
plumb?” don’t
“I know. It struck rne that
way, but if you say it’s all right, I’ll
take yo m word for it. Good morning,
sir!”
The other thirty stood and looked at
each ether in a foolish sort of a way for
a minute without saying a word, and
then everybody made a rush to get away.
—Detroit Free Press.
A Warning to Lovers.
The last stroke of the hour of mid
night has just sounded. Still he lingers
near tiio door with her in the steam
h ea ted hall,
“It is very late,” she murmurs half re
proachfutly twenty-fifth as he squeezes her hand for
time,
“Was that nine or ten that struck?” he
as ]^
“It was twelve.”
“Twelve! And your father is-”
“sitting up until you go. and I’m
afraid he will be angry. He-”
nj mus t go. is it possible that he
knows it is so late?”
“His watch never varies a scond and
he is in the habit of consulting it every
few minutes when he is wa ting for me
to retire. Oh! I a\vrcnce,I fear, I dread,
1 tremble—go softly—perhaps he will not
hear.”
There was a sound like that of the
drawing of corks, the door softly opened
and closed and Lawrence I.ongstop went
ont into the night, the starless, tenebrious
night. there flash,
A moment later was a a
loud report, a wild yell, the hurried
patter on the walk of flying footsteps
; and the maiden’s terrible conjecture was
realized as she beheld her father enter
the hail with a smoking musket in his
hands. .
“i)h! father,” she shrieked in an
agony of dread, “You have killed him!
You have killed him!”
“No, I haven't. It was only peas; ha
ain’t hurt much. It was only peas.”
“Oh! what will his folks in Boston
say?” he from Eoston?”
“Boston! Was
“He was.”
“Hang me, if I’d a-known that, I
would have loaded with beans '."—Boston
Courier.
Violin Villages.
No musical instrument is deserving of
greater care than centuries the violin. and A goad
one will last for improve
with age. A newspaper writer tells
something of the people who make the
j,est violins, in Markneukircheu, with
its surrounding villages, Klingenthal,
Fieissen, Eohrbaeli and Graslitz, in Sax
ony, where there are about fif cen thou
sand people who do nothing but make
violins. The inhabitants, from the little
urchin to the old, gray-headed man, the
8ma ll girl an d the old grandmother,
are all engaged in making some parts of
a fiddle:
A good instrument consists of sixty
two different pieces. The older men
make striug-holder the finger-board of the from ebony, The and
the screws.
small boys make theaisdves useful by
looking after the glue-pot. a:;d A man with
strong, steady hands together, a clear eye puts
the different pieces and .his is
the most difficult ta-k of all.
The women generally occupy them
selves as polishes. This requires long
practice, aud a family having a daugh
ter who is a good polisher is considered
very fortunate.
Even a young man, w hen he goes a
wooing, inquires whether the young girl
is a good polisher, aud if she is, it ccr
tninly will increase his affection polishing for takes her
at lea t twofold. The a
good deal of time, some of (lie violins
being twenty and even thirty times p<A
islied.
Every family has ils peculiar style that, of
polishing, and never varies from
There is one that makes nothing but a
deep wine color, and another a citron
color, yet another an orange color, and
so on.
